Hi
There are 2 acceptable ways to insulate a roof both of which conform to current and previous Building Regulations:-
1. Lay the insulation over the ceiling joists ('cold roof') so the roof space is unheated.
2. Fix the insulation to the roof rafters ('warm roof') in which the roof space becomes part of the heated area of the house.
From your description it is apparent that you have the second form of construction which would be the norm for a house with a room in the roof. The roof does need ventilation but in both 'cold roof' and 'warm roof' construction the ventilation should be provided
above the level of the insulation.
In your case there should be a gap between the top of the insulation board in the rafters and the underside of the roofing felt (or vapour permeable underlay these days

)and it is that gap that should be ventilated. The insulation in the rafters should overlap with the insulation in the walls at roof plate level, to effectively seal the
warm roof space and prevent air leakage.
Quite clearly in your case the soffit vents have introduced air leakage in to a heated part of your house, so while the form of construction used complies with The Building Regulations Part L, the way in which it has been executed
does not.
This is a fundamental error by the builder and the easy fix would be to do as you say and insulate the ceiling joists and dwarf walls of the room in the roof.
Hope this is clear:unsure: